At The Date Alchemy, one of the deal breakers almost all of our clients mention is the lack of loyalty.
But loyalty isn’t always simple — even the most committed individuals can experience attraction to someone outside their primary relationship. Psychologists call this extradyadic attraction, and research shows it’s a common, natural part of human experience. A recent study published in the Journal of International Association for Relationship Research found that many people experience these “crushes” without it harming their relationship at all. Such attractions can arise from novelty, proximity, or biology, and for most, they remain fleeting or benign.
Yet extradyadic attraction can also reveal underlying challenges. The study found that when people felt drawn to others over time, especially if their relationship satisfaction was low to begin with, romantic or sexual satisfaction in their primary relationship sometimes declined. Even strong relationships occasionally experience dips in connection when outside attraction is intense.
This highlights the delicate balance between natural curiosity and intentional commitment. The takeaway is that loyalty is not the absence of attraction to others, but the conscious choice to invest in and nurture your relationship. By embracing honesty, communication, and self-awareness, couples can transform fleeting attractions into opportunities for reflection and growth. In this way, loyalty becomes active and intentional — the foundation of deep, meaningful, and lasting connection.
But loyalty isn’t always simple — even the most committed individuals can experience attraction to someone outside their primary relationship. Psychologists call this extradyadic attraction, and research shows it’s a common, natural part of human experience. A recent study published in the Journal of International Association for Relationship Research found that many people experience these “crushes” without it harming their relationship at all. Such attractions can arise from novelty, proximity, or biology, and for most, they remain fleeting or benign.
Yet extradyadic attraction can also reveal underlying challenges. The study found that when people felt drawn to others over time, especially if their relationship satisfaction was low to begin with, romantic or sexual satisfaction in their primary relationship sometimes declined. Even strong relationships occasionally experience dips in connection when outside attraction is intense.
This highlights the delicate balance between natural curiosity and intentional commitment. The takeaway is that loyalty is not the absence of attraction to others, but the conscious choice to invest in and nurture your relationship. By embracing honesty, communication, and self-awareness, couples can transform fleeting attractions into opportunities for reflection and growth. In this way, loyalty becomes active and intentional — the foundation of deep, meaningful, and lasting connection.
